Majestic snow

Okay… I am just going to say it. I do not like snow. Looong pause.

No, wait.

I love snow, especially the first one, its smell, its touch, how fleeting it is. It is a good metaphor for the most beautiful moments in life. So how can anyone not like snow? You know that YouTube “Story of the little house in the Karkonosze” (PEGI 18 - language)?

Here is my version of the story. The rookie-enduro version:

Outside the window it looks so beautiful, a white fluff like a little duvet covering the grass. You sit on a comfy sofa with a mug of hot tea and watch YouTube of enduro fans playing in the snow. Oh, how great that looks! And the snow? Divine, it is basically an airbag if you go down. You glance out the window. The glittering snow catches in your eye. You tell yourself: this is it.

With a flourish you throw off grandma's hand-knitted blanket. You bounce eagerly off the sofa and stand yourself up. Chest out, fist clenched, and with a slow nod and a weird twist of the mouth you tell yourself: "this is the day, I am ready for a new challenge".

Before you know it — you are already in the garage, dressed warm, walking out the two-wheeled wild thing. You swing on proudly and ride.

Whoa, so slippery. You notice. Loosening the clamp of your right hand, you take a breath and adapt to the conditions. Blip, blip, blip. A bit too slow, this is not going to work. So you crack the throttle and feel the rear wheel overtake the front. You are down.

Okay, not the first time and not the last. You get up, brush yourself off, pick up the wild thing, sit down and ride on.

Blip, blip, blip, a little faster, the wheel wanted to run away again. But this time you managed to catch that rubber smartass.

You see a hill. Oh! That is what I needed. I will take it. Maybe I will even plant a flag on the summit in the name of conquest.

You pick up speeeed... oops, a slide. You pick up speeeed again, you feel the lean, and bam — like an ostrich you dive into a root hole that this damn snow had hidden.

And that cycle repeats a few more times in various horizontal-vertical-catapult variants, until you have finally had enough. And you admit that this spray of local backyard white shit has nothing in common with the dignified white duvet from YT, and the ease with which the enduro riders from the little blue screen do it… you beat your chest… instagram vs. reality …. vs. rookie.

You head home. The ground feels harder, closer and closer to town, less and less snow "rides well" — you think. Three, two, one — hop, dumped. Dirt. You sit for a moment on that frozen dirt-rut, harder than concrete. You rub a sore hip and for a moment stare at the ground with a hanging gaze. This so-called snow hides not only sticking-out roots, but iced-over, petrified ruts. Damn winter… so much for majestic snow and fun. #rookie

;) Back under the blanket, waiting for spring!

Edit: 24h later…